Introductory Exercises: Get Ready
Express the Appeal
Acknowledge Benefits
Consider Costs
Week 1 Exercises: Increase Awareness
Register Reactive Shifts
Track Spots & Thoughts
Track Reactive Themes
Week 2 Exercises: Interrupt Reactivity
Practice Breathing
Breathe & Notice
Week 3 Assignments: Accept & Dismiss Urges
Accept Urges
Dismiss Urges
Week 4 Assignments: Dissect Your Reactions
Dismantle Feelings
Dismantle Urges
Week 5 Assignments: Explore Emotion
Consult Your Gut
Express Feelings
Week 6 Assignments: Prioritize Agency
Assert Your Autonomy
Do Something Different
Week 7 Assignments: Surrender for Power
Accept What Is
Surrender the Uncontrollable
Week 8 Assignments: Balance & Integrate
Deepen Desire
Exercises for Overcoming Destructive Habits
Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D.
When overcoming a destructive habit, it's usually not enough to merely avoid unwanted behavior. Unfortunately, no matter how much we think we want to quit when we're clear-headed, we inevitably keep lapsing into that other state of mind, in which we simply want to continue our destructive habit more than we want to stop. To become truly free, we must learn to recognize what makes us reactive and develop the ability to de-escalate out of that mode and put ourselves back into the driver's seat of our own lives. The state of reactivity is characterized by a sense of urgency, nervous system arousal, mental fixation, and the feeling that we "have to" respond in a certain way; by contrast, in a state of mastery we are easygoing, relaxed, perceptive, and free to choose how we'll respond. Unfortunately, it won't be as simple as flipping some inner reactivity switch off. Nonetheless, in the coming weeks you will learn concrete things you can do to restore mastery, just as you might build muscle through physical exertion. As you implement these practices, you will enjoy a growing capacity to direct your own life.
When starting a new program, some people worry that they won't be able to "stick with it." Let me put your mind at ease: these exercises are not meant to be lifelong practices. Most are techniques to be used temporarily, as bridges that enable the development of important emotion- and urge-management skills. With practice, these skills gradually become an integral part of the way we naturally operate. I should mention that some people keep using one or two of the techniques, such as the breathing exercise, because they continue to reap benefits as a result of regular practice. Nonetheless, it is important to remember that our purpose here is not to load you up with tons of new rules that you now feel like you need to follow in order to remain free of your destructive habit. You've probably adopted that mentality before and learned, just as I have observed, that it doesn't work long-term.
While the exercises themselves may seem artificial and awkward, practicing them truly will enable you to think more clearly in the heat of the moment and act more often by choice instead of compulsion.